I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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