New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
