so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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