I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
