do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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