I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
