I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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