I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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