I don't usually arrange sex via text message
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just want to make out with him forever
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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