She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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