I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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