therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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