I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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