And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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