forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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