My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
