he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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