Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
