I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
