Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
