And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
