sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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