Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
