Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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