i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize