A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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