Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Still dying that you shit outside
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
