For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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