Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
