those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
