i just had sex bonerless
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
