hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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