and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
