we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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