Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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