I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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