I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
