the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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