Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
