Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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