I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
