For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
