I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
