can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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