you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
