so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
