Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
