The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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