I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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