im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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