Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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