This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
