I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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